Alone42long, 48

i want someone to make me smile. i love hugs and need them often. i need someone to share my journey with. someone that's by my side and won't leave, a true best friend.im loyal, passionate, and love to help others. i don't go out looking for distractions. my son is grown and i'm ready to no longer be lonely and inadequate. i am working on myself, 25 years of being lonely and abandoned has me a little emotionally feral. i'm not looking for dates or one nite stands, i need a partner to finish my journey with. someone that will be there for me as much as i am for them. i want to smile again.i can be a full on recluse or the absolute witty life of the party, just whatever the day brings. i can be guarded and very observant, or i can get up in the middle of a crowded room and be the life of the party.i don't mind cooking, i mean daily cooking, not weekend trying to impress everyone on the grill cooking. can't say i'm the best at it, but sometimes i can surprise myself pretty good with whatever i have on hand. i have cooked enough that i now know how to cook with love. measurements and recipes are just guidelines haha.i am a handy man that can fix, do, or build anything, just need the reason and drive but those are the hardest part.i am seeking god but need alot of work. i am damaged but salvageable. there's a lot of relationship trauma and i'm trying to reason with it all, but it is quite the load that i need to shed. all of this darkness has to deliver light at some point doesn't it?