Scared of Being Alone

[perezak]

its hard to wake up every day knowing i have herpes. it plagues my mind on a constant basis making me distant from others. i was never like that though, i was always outgoing and optimistic now a days i cant wait for the sun to go down so i can dream away. Im scared that i wont find someone who will love me, someone to talk to, someone to have kids with one day all that good stuff. just one mistake with a girl i was in love with and now look where im at. is there someone out there who can help me see a better light than what im looking at now.

AP

[dbailey66]

`hey perezak.... i totally understand.. i wake up in the morning ...then it just hits me ...and its on my mind constantly...i see other couples my age and say to myself there so lucky to be happy ....i get scared to that I wont find anyone either.. but sometimes i say i dont care if im alone then i see others when im out and say i wish i had that also....but what I have realized that sites like these make things easier especially when you want to date... because the person knows exactly how you feel..well keep in touch lets just say it will get better :)

[swimmerchic91]

`hey perezak. I know the feeling. I recently found out i have HSV-1. I got it from my ex fiance who cheated on me and knew he had its but never told me. I never saw anything on him. All the other things he did to me during the end and the break up meant nothing when i found out what he gave me. I was very angry at him and even had more hate for him than anything else in the world. But at the same time you to move on and learn to cope with what you have. There are days when I just feel angry gross and all that but I always remember that in terms of people that im not going to be with relationship wise or se---lly dont need to know and the people that you are close in life that you choose to tell shold still be there for you and not judge you for it. I am scared not finding some one as well and all that but i guess in time it will all happen and fall into place it just the path we have to take now will have more bumps and hills than before. if you ever need some moral support or some cheering up you can message me Hope something i said helps

[(deleted)]

`Hi...Perezak it's been since April-May that I found out and just like you I find it very frustrateing and deepresing. It's scary to have this and life seems impossable, but its not. There are women who understand and you can and will meet someone, this site can help and as you can see most people here understand how you feel and what your going through. I am not here often but if you want to chat I am here for you as well. know you are not alone and things will get better just don't give up on yourself and life.

[(deleted)]

I recently found out I had herpes. I have been having suicidal thoughts a lot. I don't want to be alone forever. I want love and friendship. I cant date anyone without it because the risk of spreading it. I want to find love...I hate I got this s---. I could kill that ----ing bastard who gave it to me.

[darkersidegirl]

`deedee I feel exactly the same way! Hate him

[positivemotion]

`Hate is not what is going to motivate you in the directions which you would truly like to be moving towards. We could all hate the people who have changed our live so much by giving us herpes and where would that get us.....It would mean that we have herpes and bad emotions. Let yourself be frustrated and sad even angry.....Hate wont let you move forward.
It will only attach you to your negative past..

[(deleted)]

`Your so right. I don't hate him..I just very much dislike that I was so dumb. I'm better now..I'm trying to move foward in a positive way. I can't let it weight me down. It's bad for my health when I'm depressed and sad all the time. I believe that everything happens for a reason. Everything will be okay..I'm too pretty and too cool not to find someone. I hope I find someone on this site who I can really commit and be with. I have met a guy..We just started talking and I'm so thrilled. It gives me hope! Please, everyone, have hope.

[toriboo]

`There is hope!!!!!!!! I been positive every since December of last year, and it has been some hard hard times. Yes, I was depressed at first and thought I had to stick with that low down whom entrapped me in the first place. Around May I realize my worth and I went soul searching and realize I am a good woman who deserves much better. Good things will happen to good people if you just remain good and have faith. I never really dated anybody else who had herpes because of my denial of having herpes myself. After I got out the relationship or friendship or whatever you wanna call it cause it wasn't really a relationship to him, but it became very hard. I'm not a ugly female so I get dudes trying to talk to me everyday, but I got scared to actually talk to some of them. If I actually liked them then I will tell them. Since then I talked to 2 different guys the first one didn't work out and I'm currently dating the second. Neither of them are positive, but he do talk as if he wants to be serious and settle down. I gets scared at times because I'm scared that he might contract this virus, and I don't know if I'm capable of having kids. I just don't know if I can give him everything he wants or need. I learned to live with my Herpes, but I still have fears and I guess its natural. I know there is hope, but we tend to question ourselves sometimes. With that being said its okay people to have fears just don't let these fears consume you and ruin your chance of happiness at all!!!!!

[(deleted)]

`I was diagnosed last year. I feel like having this is one of those things that you hear about and you always think, "that could never happen to me." I was naive and stupid in so many ways. I live in a small town, so I don't want to date anyone because then I will have to tell them, and if they aren't okay with it, then everybody will know. I'll be the girl walking down the street where people are whispering about me, and that scares the crap out of me. I felt disgusting when I had my first outbreak, because it's thought of as such a dirty disease. Y'know? Like, herpes is the thing that is the butt of joks and you don't realize how scary, painful and hard it is to live with. Thankfully, I haven't really thought about it, unless there was an outbreak, but it still scares me to tell anyone.

[(deleted)]

`My sense of self worth has completely gone down hill since I was diagnosed. I started cutting myself, smoking a pack a day, drinking daily, and general other self-harm behavior. I just hate thinking that there's a possibility i will be alone forever. It's not even so much the actual herpes that bothers me, but the anxiety and depression that I suffer from. It's a daily thing. Some days are good, but most days are mediocre to bad. There is not a day that goes by that i don't think about it. My depression has gotten so bad that when my mother saw the cuts on my leg, she wanted me to go to a hospital or facility for some mental help. I'm just so lost and so confused. I keep thinking maybe contracting herpes is like the universe's way of righting all my wrongs, idk, but it's sure one hell of an earlthy payment. :(

[walkabout29]

`I just found out about 15 days ago that i have herpes. I went through a lot of confusion because of Christmas and being at home. I told my close close friends and they were all there for me, and will continue to be there for me. The person that gave it to me, I knew he had it, we were really careful but I was fighting off a very bad kidney infection and my immune system was wanked. It has made him very sad and frightened because I got it so easily, when we were so careful. But he has been there for me when i needed it. I am still very scared, i want to cry and be held, but I can't seem to grasp the emotions i am feeling yet. I am not down and out though, I am just much more determined. But The scenario of falling in love and telling them i have herpes and them leaving, well that one shakes me. But i haven't been lucky in love for years so i guess this won't make anything worse or easier.

I need a hug.

[(deleted)]

`I recently found out that I have contracted H. I am so ashamed and embarrassed that I can't even say it. Perezak, I totally understand how you feel. Who is going to love me? How do I introduce myself to someone? Hi my name is Stephanie and I have H. I am scared and all alone. When no one is around I cry a lot. I feel lost and empty all at the same time. The only thing that keeps me going is my faith.