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| Total Votes : 6 |
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toriboo
toriboo
Joined:
February 26, 2011
Posts: 35
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 Posted: Post subject: Emotional/Love Rollercoster |
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So I'm trying to make the relationship work with the guy whom I contracted Herpes. Sometimes he have me in heaven and sometimes I can't stand him, I don't trust him, and I think he's bi-polar. We only been talking for three months and fallen off more then 3 times. I just wanna be happy and continue living my life and dating before I known he had herpes and given it to me. Sometimes I had blame him and accused him of messing my life up! I'm still emotional about the situation, but I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. I feel like I'm just on a emotional roller coaster and I think I'm going to get counseling because I don't want to run this guy away. He's a nice guy at times, but sometimes he do stuff and makes me think he's no good. I'm jealous and insecure and I never been like that before I got this news!!!! What's wrong with me do I got a mental problem going on or something?
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gideon69
gideon69
Joined:
March 17, 2011
Posts: 27
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| Posted: Post subject: |
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`Good news!! Girl! u ain't crazy lol ,maybe a lil emotional and thats perfectly understandable. You like the guy and he likes you and you want to express you level of commitment to him and get him to do the same. There is a book called the 5 luv languages by Gary Chapman. The book says that each person has their own unique love language and if that language is not spoken then you won’t feel loved. So we gotta find out what your luv language is without me stealing you from yo man,lol.
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gideon69
gideon69
Joined:
March 17, 2011
Posts: 27
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| Posted: Post subject: |
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`@toriboo I wouldn't do that to you ,lol ;0) cute as you is you lucky I know Jesus cause had we met back in my back slidin days I would have to try but anyways, back to this luv language thing we got a church back ground so I know you can appreciate a good spiritual book.
1.Words of affirmation
2.Quality time
3.Receiving Gifts
4.Acts of service
5.Physical touch
I will post tonight about how to discover your primary luv language and his. I’ll halla I just worked a 12 hour shift so I need a lil nap but when I get back on before 11 tonite. Peace!
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gideon69
gideon69
Joined:
March 17, 2011
Posts: 27
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| Posted: Post subject: |
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`Has any one else read this book by "Gary Chapman" called The five love lanuages!?!? if not google it and you may find some video . it will change your life.
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toriboo
toriboo
Joined:
February 26, 2011
Posts: 35
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| Posted: Post subject: |
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`lol wow, u are a trip!!!!!! Nah I never heard of that book, but seems interesting; however, I don't think it would help his attitude at all!!!!! Sometimes I just don't know about him, he has that I don't give a dang attitude, and my love language wouldn't help that at all lol
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gideon69
gideon69
Joined:
March 17, 2011
Posts: 27
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| Posted: Post subject: |
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`it took me 20 minutes just to find my topic lol anyways heres my post
Which one of these things mean the most to you? If you like it when he touches you. Not just during S-- but maybe a hug or holding hands or a foot rub. Maybe he "brushes"up against you when he's trying to get by in the hall way lol. That's physical touch.
If it anoys you that he watches tv or is busy texin or fixing somethin when you are talking to him about your day then your love language might be quality time.
For some women it's monolo ,vera wang things of this nature then your language may be Receiving gifts.
Do any of these sound like you?
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gideon69
gideon69
Joined:
March 17, 2011
Posts: 27
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| Posted: Post subject: |
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`Do you need your own cheer leader squad tellin you go,go,go or maybe you just need him to say baby you are so smart. Or I know you can do that. Beautiful you did a great job with dinner tonite it was great. If this makes your heart flutter or floats your boat,lol then words of affirmation may be your luv language.
Maybe you want him to help with some chores around the house. Maybe do the dishes or sweep up once in a while or clean the ring in the tub!!,lol then your language might be acts of service.
It could also be a combination of these that keep your emotional love tank full. When you don't get these things and your love language is not spoken then you are running on empty and life can be miserable
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toriboo
toriboo
Joined:
February 26, 2011
Posts: 35
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| Posted: Post subject: |
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`It's the combination of both. We good when he at my house in my bed, but it's like he don't like talking to me, he don't call me beautiful unless we half naked and he trying to cop a field, when he away he don't call me baby and hardly never talks to me sometimes he don't even text me that whole day. When he is at my house he's always wanting me to cook, which I don't mind, but he never offer 2 do anything. I have to ask him can he take the trash out and it takes him forever 2 do that. Idk maybe it's just me, It's not like I got OCD or anything I just don't need a lazy nigga. N we just got bk together recently, we broked up because I came home and their was a condom on my bed. We don't even use condoms, so I thought he had somebody in my house. He claim that he was j------ off and use the condom to put his --- in it instead of making a mess!!! IDK
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gideon69
gideon69
Joined:
March 17, 2011
Posts: 27
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| Posted: Post subject: |
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`Yea you right something don’t feel right and I don’t like that story either. We both know you can't build a relationship on s--. well you are back together and this is a great start. try to talk to him while you 2 are eating at the table. don’t let him eat in front of the tv. try not to talk to him when he is engaged in something else. this way you are not competing for his attention with whatever else is going on. see if you can limit you conversation to 3-5minutes and make them longer as the days go on. there are a ton of techniques . he is home and girl that is half the battle if you think about it. Don’t show him this site ,lol but write down the different luv languages and see which one of these mean the most to him. it sounds like his love language may be acts of service since he is asking you to cook. it could also be Physical touch since he gives you words of affirmation when yall in the bed room, u go girl!, he sound like you got him right where u want him when the close some off, lol. get him to eat with you at the table no tv maybe a little light music for Ambiance so that will probably change his mood a little bit. you can really start to feel him out at this time as he is reacting to the smell of your food and the type of music you put on. ask him how his day was. then hit him ,lol, with a little bit about your day. let me know if this plan works and we'll take it from there . might need to get u a "nanny cam" ,lol im not sayin you shouldn’t trust him but lets call it insurance. you not in his phone and you not nagging him bout where he goin so let see how this works. before you buy a cam halla at me frist cause there are some that fit in a button on a shirt or in the face of a clock. if you put a bear in the room he might pic it up to examine it ,lol I work security so i can tell you real n#gg@$ peep game u feel me lol. halla at ya boy pece.
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toriboo
toriboo
Joined:
February 26, 2011
Posts: 35
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| Posted: Post subject: |
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`I'm gone try that table joint cause everytime he gets his food he go straight in the living room and eat and watch tv. I never really even thought anything of it, and your right we don't have really no conversations unless we in the bed. Our conversations be questions and silence. I haven't really conversed with him in a long time,because we got so many different believes and we always end up arguing over something dumb.
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gideon69
gideon69
Joined:
March 17, 2011
Posts: 27
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| Posted: Post subject: |
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`uh huh I knew the tv was a problem . lol dont forget the music and keep the conversation short 5min . you will know if he is in to the conversation or not and that will let you know if you should keep going or cut it after the five minutes. halla
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toriboo
toriboo
Joined:
February 26, 2011
Posts: 35
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| Posted: Post subject: |
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`I don't think he's into conversation like that, he don't really talk!!!!!!!!!
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gideon69
gideon69
Joined:
March 17, 2011
Posts: 27
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| Posted: Post subject: |
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`everybody talks beautiful.
what did yall talk about and for how long?
what are some of his interests?
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toriboo
toriboo
Joined:
February 26, 2011
Posts: 35
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| Posted: Post subject: |
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He wants 2 b a rapper!! N he likes having sex, he love his daughter n is a good father! I don't know how he feel bout dis herpes stuff because he never tlk about it, I don't even think he know who he got it from! He never get outbreaks! He's very secretive at times lol
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gideon69
gideon69
Joined:
March 17, 2011
Posts: 27
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| Posted: Post subject: |
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`thats strange. he is lucky. ppl who just got "the situation" get out breaks very often but as time goes on they happen less frequently and they are smaller than the ones before. idk about that rapper stuff. find out what else he likes. proof read his lyrics for him if he writes them down. try to find other things u can share together. hell, read kamasutra together, study massage .massages really turn up the heat if you know what im saying. there is a book called the "love dare" and it comes with a movie called fire proof. get the book and the movie if you can . watch it together and see the difference. i guess he is not in to the medical feild or does he watch any CSI shows? keep going with the dinner thing and dont forget the music. hit me back ,halla
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