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yeah, when did you?

 
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(deleted)









Posted:     Post subject: yeah, when did you?

And what was their reaction? Did you end up haveing s-- ? if so did you use condoms?

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(deleted)









Posted:     Post subject:

Damn, 70 views and not a single reply? Jeez. Anyway, as for me, I didn't have to tell anyone anything, ever. I've only been with one person that had it, and that was the person that gave it to me. I knew about it beforehand, and I didn't blame her afterwards when I got it. We started using condoms at first, but eventually got careless and I ended up infected. We had a long-term serious relationship but it wasnt permanent, and I haven't been with anyone since. As for the future, I could never have s-- with someone without telling them beforehand, and I'm honestly not sure I could even have s-- with them period unless they already had HSV as well, because I wouldn't want to risk giving it to them unless it was a very serious relationship. I also have zero experience in giving 'the talk', so I can't really imagine when I'd tell someone I had it.

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(deleted)









Posted:     Post subject:

`I told my ex-wife on the same exact day that i got my test result. I talked about it with her, but she didn't really seem concerned. Actually, i still don't think she's concerned... It's very, very weird, seriously.
I kept her posted of any and all progress through the testing, etc, as i also had to see if i had anything else, which thankfully i don't. I still think she should take it more seriously, but i have to accept the fact that everyone is different, and not every person can be serious.
This isn't something that can be kept away - If you go ahead and say it, be calm, give the whole story (don't leave anything out), and try not to be afraid, as many things are out of our control -
Honesty, isn't out of our control.
Dignity, isn't out of our control.
Caring, isn't out of our control.
I think that should get the right message across, regardless of culture, personal beliefs, etc.

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(deleted)









Posted:     Post subject:

`i will only date someone who has herpes now and Im not brave enough to tell someone in person so this is my first time ever trying to find a date online. that way we both know what we have. save the embarrassment. hopefully i find a friend atleast. alot of people are in denial and not honest which is why this keep spreading and itll spread forever. i dont want to be the cause of the spread I do not even want to date someone se---lly who doesnt have it. so that solve my problem as far as telling the person i have it but it dont really solve m problem for finding a date.lol.

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preciosak




preciosak

Joined:
June 18, 2010
Posts: 10

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`I have been dating my boyfriend for the past 9 months, I knew him for about two years before we got together. Before we actually became a couple, he invited me to stay at his house for a weekend to meet his family. This means I would have to sleepover, so I wanted to tell him about my HSV-2 before seeing him to avoid uncomfortability in person and having to bring this up before he decided to try to have s--. Anyway, I told him over the phone a week before I went to his house, and he told me he still wanted me and still wanted to make love to me. I was by all means thrilled, shocked, and happy. Of course he had his questions about herpes because he would be in s----l contact with me, but throughout our entire relationship, we have had a great relationship. Sometimes you just need to take a risk like I did because you never know what that other person's reaction will be. The other male I had told about my herpes before my boyfriend never talked to me again after I mentioned it. Of course I was upset but hey, life goes on. Then I met my boyfriend and like I said, he was accepting. Just goes to show you that you never know what life has in store for you and who you will meet! :)

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luxurious09




luxurious09

Joined:
July 10, 2010
Posts: 1

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I started talking to this guy and i told him right after he kissed me, his thought was that since we'd kissed he was already infected so it wouldnt matter if we had s-- or used condoms... (completely untrue) but everytime i tried to educate him about it he made it seem like i didnt know what i was talking about.... as if he knew more about the virus ive been living with for 3years! but he didnt care, told me it didnt matter if i had aids or herpes he'd still love me the same.. we didnt last and after the break up we still wernt sure if he had it or not (he hadnt had a break out) but he was convinced he had it and told my closest friends who i had not told and god knows who else.... it was not a good experiance..

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(deleted)









Posted:     Post subject:

`Well. this was always my biggest fear. ive had it for a lil over a year now and i have talked with three men, but only been with one. By the grace of God neither of them rejected me. i told everyone of them only after a couple days of meeting them. cuz thats not a secret i can live with. How do u bring that up later when the relationship is in "full blast" so to speak and say " by the way...." I kept playin that scenerio in my head and for me it just didnt work, so i wanted to let them know way before hand wat theyd be getting into. My relationships ended up not lasting b/c of wat THEY did, nuthing on my part, so I ended up leaving them but i guess my point is YOU DONT HAVE TO BE AFRAID. and yes, i anticipate rejection at some point but its not going to keep me down,,,,if I can ignore the doubt and pain and humiliat... from my own mind....then who are they to try and put me down?!?!? its gonna be alright yall...i know it!!

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(deleted)









Posted:     Post subject: recently diagnosed

I found out just a few months ago about my status.. The guy who infected me didn't tell me untill after we had s-- a few times... I will not do that to anyone in my future. I just told one of my homeboys I've known for 3 years who was trying to make a serious relationship and he seems okay with it... But I'm still not sure. I have never have an outbreak but my Dr. told me its in my blood?? Anyone know about that? Anyway, this is a comfort site for me. Makes me feel better to talk about it on here first... My friends(homegirls) dont know yet.

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(deleted)









Posted:     Post subject:

`Hey Jas! I've Had "H" for going over 11yrs now. You're a unique person like one of my friends. She hasn't had an outbreak in about 5 yrs. Keeping youself stress-free, out of the sun, and away from chocolate (yes it will give you and out break if you eat a lot of it), you will continue to be okay. But also understand there is this thing that we do called "A Systematic Shedding" Its where we shed Where the H first showed up. Like dandriff, but its so small that we cant even see it. So even without having a full outbreak, we can transfer this. So be good and be careful.

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(deleted)









Posted:     Post subject:

`Well i found out that i have hsv2 on dec. 2010. I was engaged at the time and she said she did not have it but i find that VERY HARD to believe because she has told me many lies and this was the one that broke me! To this day she still tells me she don't have it! See i was married for 20 years and we was sooo much in love!!! Then in 2001 she got sick and was sick for 7 years with cancer and on dialyses, she did not have hsv2 i know for sure! I took care of her because she was my LOVE and MISS HER to this day! Lost her in Oct. 2008 to cancer!

Now i have only told two people one was my daughter because she needed to know at the age of 19 and is in this wild world! The other person i told was because we started to like each other and i told her within the first week before it moved to far! She had questions and i told her everything i knew and told her about other websites for info and she read up on it herself. we dated for about 3 months but we broke it off for other reasons and are still friends to this day. Now i have to tell the next lady if i find one.... I was i could find someone that has it so i don't have to talk about it so much! It is hard to talk about for me!

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richi2988




richi2988

Joined:
May 30, 2011
Posts: 1

PostPosted:     Post subject:
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`i wish i could give you advise. but the truth is it is a difficult subject for anyone. I very rarely speak of it

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maria93




maria93

Joined:
August 1, 2011
Posts: 5

PostPosted:     Post subject:
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`I sort of told my ex bf (who i was still in love with at the time) to come and meet me as I really needed someone to talk to and I had him guess what had happened to me we were sat in the car for ages... and eventually he guessed and I just started crying and let it all out - but do you know what it helped. And he said that if this had happened a year ago he would have stayed with me regardless of my problem. I think if I liked someone now I would probably have a long conversation with them online, not everything has to be face to face... and things like this are alot easier to talk about in depth in writing.. hope this helps....

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spicegurl




spicegurl

Joined:
December 14, 2011
Posts: 14

PostPosted:     Post subject:
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`I texted my mom i have herpes when i was still in the doctors crying my eyes out. My exact text "Kill me now, i have herpes", hers "That's nasty".

Next i texted my three guy bestfriends. They all said they care about me, love me, and through everything they'd be there. I was more than pleased and happy to still have them. Even though they asked me for pictures of the breakout, sores, and hundreds of questions i answered them just so they'd know what i was going through to understand. (:

My girl bestfriend. Oh my god it was so hard i had s-- with a guy a month before i found out that i had herpes and she had s-- with him two days later. So telling her was so hard. She's actually going to get tested next week. She hasn't had breakouts so i don't know. She has been crying too. But she makes it easy to talk to her about.

Ex: He told me he gave it to me when he cheated. He cryed and said he wanted me back but he cheated on me so it ruined it. I'd rather be alone than cheated on.

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(deleted)









Posted:     Post subject:

The first time I told someone was soon as I found out I caught it from the boyfriend who gave it to me. After that I didn't tell anyone. We split. Then I started dating n it was hard. I had so much fearof rejection. Wen I finally told a guy who was interested in me, it was like I had an out of body experience or something bcuz I had built so much fear up in side. Every time after that got a little easier.

But to this day, the rejection NEVER gets easier to deal with.

I usually tell a guy soon after we meet bcuz I feel he should know n not waste his time or mines if he is uncomfortable with the situation.

Wen it comes to someone I really like, the rejection is far worse. But If I were in the next mans shoes, I would walk away too.

It is what it is.

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kevingm




kevingm

Joined:
October 4, 2011
Posts: 1

PostPosted:     Post subject:
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`I actually waited until me and my girlfriend got serious. She wanted to be intimate so I let her know. It went rather well considering how hard it was on me to tell her. But I think if someone actually cares it won't be a problem. And to this day it's still not easy knowing that I can pass it to her. But I take precautions as much as possible. But it was worth it to try and open up to her and be honest. She has even helped me through outbreaks.

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