Kickstart

[(deleted)]

So I'm going to try to kick start this thread.

I actually have a bunch of secondary illnesses because all these natural good looks came at a price.

I suffer from occasional but intense back pain. Having just finished my first outbreak which left me bed ridden I can feel another random day of pain creeping up on me. That's just a small complaint.

The other one that I can kind of relate to hsv is depression. I take anti depressants and it's normally pretty manageable, but dealing with all this has been hard. Hard for me and hard for the poor souls who have to listen to me ranting about how I'll never meet someone/I'll die alone/I feel gross/I've ruined my youth/I'm not pretty enough to blend in with the sti crowd/... The list is long, and a little obscure at times, but it's challenging.

I also have a condition that, among other things, really compromises my ability to conceive. I've always seen myself as the wife and mom type, so when I was diagnosed with this and hsv in the same month I've been grumpy.

All the added stress from each of these things is impacting the others. the depression is especially linked to my outbreaks. Although I haven't had any that hold a candle to the first, if I'm feeling crappy mentally, the HSV ensures that I feel crappy physically.

I guess in some way it's nice because it forces me to address problems in my life before they snowball.

I have a roommate with her own collection of health concerns. We've decided to refer to our house as the land of broken toys.

There. I've shared. Now it's your turn.

Sincerely, Virus'd in Victoria

~ Heather

[(deleted)]

`I understand the situation is kinda rough. I recently found out myself and I don't even know who to turn talk to, I'm too embarassed to talk to any of my friends and lord knows my family would not be very understanding about this and kick me out of the house. Since I was 4 years old, all I've really wanted out of life was to get married and settled down with a woman I love... and now I feel like thats an impossibility. Dating has been horrible for the last few years and its just been one really intense heartbreak after the last. All of my exes are now married or on their way to being and i just can't help but feel so angry that.... that they get to have that life that i want, that happy ending, and I don't. If I had ended up with any of them, i wouldn't be in this situation. My brain is so full of what ifs and it's driving me crazy. I feel like i have lost the one thing ive been working for my entire life, the one thing ive wanted, the one thing ive asked of this world I can't have, nothing else has ever mattered. Well, why am I still here then right? Well, I think, I think at least, people would cry for me, if i did kill myself, I think people would be sad, and I don't want to do that to anyone. I have been thinking about suicide a lot though, a lot, and I don't think anyone notices. But hey, I've always been a very negative person. if a debbie downer like me can get through this, you can too.

[(deleted)]

`WoW its like my heart is sad 4 u both and tears well up in my eyes from reading ur posts cause ive been there. When u first found out. Damn I felt every emotion that u guys have and I still do but its not as severe as when I first found out. I thought my world had ended until I begin to have panic attacks, to where I couldnt breathe and I use to meditate on what I wanted to do to the person that gave it to me. I should have been on some type of meds. u were the smart one. Its been 11yrs now. I would just stopped caring all together about everything. Didnt want to live either Maverickh9. Didnt want to go out my front door. I would try to stay boozed up everyday so I wouldnt have to think about it. I stopped caring about my appearance, and what I wore. I didnt want no one to look at me or in any kind of s----l way. I would mean mug every man that crossed my path. It depends on how long you want to put yourself through this torment. We torment ourselves because we don't want to accept it. One day I woke up and was like "u know wat I got this s--- whether I like it or not so accept it. And when i did that it made me feel a little better. And when I stumbled over a couple of web-sites and noticed that I wasnt alone and I read their stories and some made me laugh and others made me cry because i could relate so much. It helped me to cope with it alot better. Time heals all wounds. I went through so many emotional stages. It was from being devastated, hatred for the person, angry, depressed, lonely and so on. Its so much hitting u all at once until ur like DAMN. Just try to find the positive in every situation. On my worst days I tell myself well it could be alot worse. so try to stay positive and get out more, take long peaceful walks. The extra stress doesnt help it makes ur body feel even worse. take care guys and dont give up on your dreams and desires. xoxox

[whatadrag]

`I dont think I will ever be able to accept it. It has been years now and I'm still depressed and angry about it. Life does go on but I get down from time to time and when I get down I fget really down. There is no one to talk to about the situation. I would never tell anyone and none of my friends would even suspect that I have it. I was always the one that didnt sleep around. It only takes one time tho.

[(deleted)]

`People it does not have to be this way u are thinking way to negative and theses thoughts will manifest. I know cuz I did the same thing. Bottom line u are still u regardless of the hsv. If any of u are from New York in the city email me many we can make our own group. Hangout n stuff