anyone feel alone in their area

[(deleted)]

Im from a small town in missouri and i feel so alone. If herpes is so prevalent then where is everyone. No matter how beautiful or caring people are its still hard knowing you're ending up with the short stick. Sometimes its just nice to have the security of talking to people who understand the day to day struggles that people with herpes go through. Dating isn't the same for us than other people without it. If you life near a city with plenty of people with the same problem its probably not as hard but dating around here is people that are closed minded and dont try to get to know what it's about the risks everything. does anyone else feel the same?

[(deleted)]

`I feel exactly the same. I'm from a small town as well, I jus moved to LA, but noones jus upfront with it cuz no one wants that judgement. It is hard to deal with, but we jus got to.

[(deleted)]

`I live in a BIG ----ing town. Philadelphia. And I feel alone as s---.

First thing, EVERY Date has to be haulted in the back of my mind as "do I think this girl is cool enough not to care?

Second, No one has come up with what to say when the other person just FLAT OUT ASK YOU, "Do you have herpes?" its like WTF

3rd, NON Herpes friends, DONT ----ING GET IT. Sure its not SOOO bad, but it to All people is BAD. Sure, we may never die from it, but its still labeled us as Diseases. Like lepers.

Ever read the love ads on CL or dating sites? they always have a part that says "Drug/disease free" its like, ehh wtf.

[(deleted)]

`i was just talking about that on my other online support group. I just dont feel normal anymore because no matter how prevalent herpes is society makes us feel dirty and like outsiders. After i tried dating people without it and one guy refused to even kiss me touch me or even hold my hand because i have gential herpes made me feel like the scum of the earth. The actual guy who actually gave it to me said the most horrible down right evil things to me just so he didn't have to admit that he was the one who gave them to me. Sometimes i feel so alone. Herpes has changed my life forever in aspects its made me a better person and made me have to face my problems head on but others i just want to go back to before i had it so i can freely date and be a free spirited 21 year old. I live a university campus where i see and meet attractive people and i actually feel like i am out of their league. Im sorry if i offend anyone but i dont even know 25 year olds that would openly just be like o ok thats cool idc if you have herpes because people are miss informed and judgemental about this diease i wont even lie i was until i was the one who had it.

[(deleted)]

`Yea Bug, I hear ya big time.

I am not considered an attractive guy by general standards. And I have been told so by a whole poop load of women for a long time. But then I get the few super intelligent women that Somehow find me fascinating. So for a long time I had a VERY low self esteem, and I thought myself to be a loser and such. Took a long time to gain confidence in myself. I felt I needed to change myself, but thankfully I am too stubborn to bend to the wills of others.

So after highschool I finally start coming into my own. Started vocals in a Rock band and started dating alot. Found that confidence led more women my way, DESPITE my low self esteem.

Then H happened.....

I lost so much self respect that I had fought SO hard to gain. I felt so ugly, so ashamed. I trusted the wrong person. Like you BUG I was lied to. And then the other person played the angry part to make it seem like I must have gotten it from someone else, even accused me of cheating.

After that, I was damned close to killing myself. I kept thinking, "if it were the other way around, I would have denyed a person with herpes, therefore people who think like me, leave me with no prayer."

I figured my love life was over. But in time, in a way H has helped me realize whats important. And I have met some really good people. In a ----ed up way, H brings out the truth in people. The truth of their character. If they can look past a few things, they can find out that its not that bad. When I first got it it was "the end of the world."

Now that I am more mature about it, its just a filter. To stop me from trusting the wrong person. Still its HARD. Its not easy at all. I met this one girl, I could have married her within a year, And I never thought I would get married due to trust issues. We had great dates and then SHE brought it up kinda as a joke. "Do you have Herpes?" And I was speechless. And she just went "o" and we ---- up. Never heard from her again :/

[(deleted)]

`its ignorance like that makes me so damn mad. Im not the best looking person in the world but i could be a whole lot worse. and people always assume when you same "i have a great personaltiy" that im automatically declared beastly without really looking. What people can't be attractive and have a personality worth wanting? what kinda s--- is that. I am just different but im fun to be around and have beautiful qualities. Same s--- with not being a size 5 what gives someone the right to tell me im unattractive because i actually like to eat once in awhile.

[(deleted)]

`Well Bug,

If its any constellation, I think your very attractive.

But yea, the ignorance things is VERY VERY VERY hard to get by. I want to get angry sometimes and realize that I can't. I have a problem, I easily put myself into other people's shoes a lot, and make excuses for them. I WANT to get mad at girls that refuse me for it. But What can I get mad about? In her shoes and can't say I wouldn't have done the same :/

[(deleted)]

`Thats how i am I always make excuses for them and I would have done the same thing and I did do the same thing I mean I wasn't ever put in the situation where someone told me and Im a very very understanding person. But now that Im on the other side of the street now i see how it feels. Like this sounds weird but I like to just go through the different people on the site just to see the people themselves and these woman are absolutely gorgeous. I think to myself if these woman can't find a mate on here how the hell am I? I met my ex through here and dont get me wrong I loved him and his daughter to the end of the earth but i was just lucky he found me. I feel like if I email them first that it makes me seem like I just want a lay secondly some are very very attractive and I wonder how the hell am I suppose to have a chance in hell with these guys. I am pretty and i dont say that in a conceeded way but im not the smallest girl and thats what most guys want is a size 5. Idk sometimes its just really discouraging

[(deleted)]

`Yea, well in comparison to be fair...

I am 260 lbs.
5'11
Long Hair
Loud and annoying.

I get it tough normally. Girls want "clean cut and Super muscular dudes. I aint them. AND THEN I HAVE HERPES. like WTF

[(deleted)]

`lol i hear ya

[(deleted)]

`At least your a woman. Women get hit on 5-7 times more then men. In my life I have only been hit on once.

[(deleted)]

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[(deleted)]

i live in a fairly large populous area and ive tried dating a girl who didnt have herpes and it was like impossible to get laid...sure im not the best looking cat but damn!...u would think im hideous!....thing is im only 34 yrs old and ive had S-- with way less people than she has and most of her encounters were unprotected S-- so she was just very damn lucky...who was she to judge me?....so now im bitter im pissed off and no matter what the situation is...ur never more overlooked or ignored than u r when ur actually trying to get noticed....like when u have some1 other people start 2 show interest in u but when ur single u might as well be invisible....but here i am going to all these websites for people who have herpes so i figure i could meet some1 who it wont be a problem but nooooooo....im just as ignored here as anywhere else...i thought this site should be jumping cuz it actually is free...most of the other sites sucker u in then u realize u cant do crap...even if some1 is interested theres no way to reach them cuz ur not allowed 2 send msgs or leave contact info

[badluck12]

Same here. And I live in a big city! And I've been on this site for months. And all the women I've seen on here from my city haven't been on here in months. And the crappy thing is, I have no problem meeting women. And most of them want me lay them on the first date. and despite my urges, I tell them that I have H. Man.... Does that kill the mood and their interest.

[(deleted)]

`I live in a suburban town JUST outside Richmond, VA and... it sucks. Dating is so hard for me now it's like I meet a really cute guy and on the first date, in the back of my mind I'm constantly worrying, "how long will this last? Will he leave if I tell him?" And I end up making myself not like them anymore just because I'm scared if I tell them they won't accept it
I told one guy I was dating while ago and he flipped out. He texted me from the docto his office that very next day saying he was getting tested? I tried explaining I have genital herpes and he's wasting his money and time because we only kissed. His ignorance and how he treated me really hurt me. He then told every single person in our friend gro and so I lost all my friends. Now it's like I've been blacklisted in my town... it's not even fair. I hate being judged off of this. I mean it is now a part of me but it isn't ME and idk I've decided to give up on dating for now. I'm 20 so men around my age are too immature/ignorant to handle this so I'm just going to wait until I'm older
I just hate how this has happened to me and no one truly understands what I'm going through. The was bad enough and one of them cursed me with this disease. They took away everything from me